Deadlines, Girls, and other tragedies.

Either this is a 'What I did while I was away the past few days' post or an exercise in introspection. I'll let my neocortex decide; if it starts to throb, I'll change the subject.

What I did while I was away: Did a lot of assignments, finished a lot of work, tried to sleep some, watched Harry Potter with ex-girlfriend. More on that in a moment.

Harry Potter? I found it exquisite. I've heard the opinion put forward that it was too compressed; sadly, which one since Azkaban hasn't been? We can either blame the filmmakers, for bowing to budgets and demands and not making a four hour film, blame Rowling, for having such an expansive imagination, or blame the actors, for not learning to deliver their lines in Chipmunk.

Ohno!LordVoldemorthasreturned!
Harryareyousure?WeneedtotellDumbledoreaboutthis!
ButUmbridgehasHogwartsunderherironskirt!

Imelda Staunton as Umbridge is spot on brilliant. I was in sheer awe every time she was on the screen. Nothing, however eclipses Alan Rickman's ability to pronounce '...' He's my favorite actor probably.

Brownie-friend (who is in Vietnam, backpacking, while I'm here, homeworking) pointed out that Emma Thompson (the brilliant but misunderstood Divinations lecturer Sybil Trelawney), Imelda Staunton, Stephen Fry (who reads all the Harry Potter audiobooks) and Hugh Laurie used to be part of this group of British comedians who did plenty of work together (this group includes Rowan Atkinson). Therefore it is only logical that Hugh Laurie get a role in the next Harry Potter films, probably as the new Minister for Magic, Rufus Scrimgeour.

I think this is a brilliant choice of actor. I'm picturing Hugh in a long dark cloak, with yellowy hair and eyebrows, limping out of the fireplace at number 10 Downing Street, staring Tony Blair in the eye with his hand outstretched saying 'I'm Doctor House.'

I demand, nay, expect this casting decision to be made soon.

I saw the film with brownie friend, wine friend, and ex-girlfriend. She's gone off to India for three weeks. She's never been there despite her being Indian, and she was much excited to be making the trip. I'm eagerly awaiting their returns.

Unfortunately, the more time I spend with my ex girlfriend, the more I realize just how fond of her I was before she added the prefix to her description and moved to Singapore. 3 years later and said fondness has yet to subside; only to be expected I suppose. I suspect these feelings will never truly disappear, only linger about for years and return in the form of rainy afternoon memories and 'Do you remember the time...'

Chrys (who I believe I've mentioned, if I haven't, she's an old flame who migrated into friend territory after she discovered her sexuality. The joke after that was that I should rent myself out to lesbians who've fallen for straight girls; the idea is, I go up to the straight girl and ask her out. Boom, instant lesbian.) has been working hard for her parents of all people for money for an MP3 player so she can go to the states with all manner of gizmos to make her life easier. This has left us in the unfortunate state of not being able to see each other or in fact talk very much as all, a situation which leaves me more weary than anything else. The idea was that after her A-levels things friendwise would be very hunky-dory, but events have thus far completely failed to turn out that way.



Which brings me inevitably to the conclusion that girls are not really the best friend material in my experience, because unfortunately they are the more proactive and result-oriented species (Ever worked for a woman? Exactly) they tend to be much more unrelenting in their dealings with other people. I've met no less than five girls who've decided that removing someone from their life entirely is the solution to their problems with said person, and I believe strongly that this behavior is up there with bank robbery and genocide; amazingly selfish and highly destructive. It surprises me because no guy I've ever known has resorted to this exit strategy, although I'm perfectly willing to believe that they're not the only culprit. But where you can call men assholes and jerks for taking off and never speaking to you again, what you call girls who do that is, in my opinion, a hundred times worse; that is, rational and self-preserving.

I saw on TV just yesterday a program about what men want. The female host, as an experiment, walked into a bar with the advice of a body language expert snugly under her belt and tried to pick up a man by walking up to him and asking to try his drink. She then attempted to make small talk, and failed miserably as the man just walked away.

I will never forget this next bit for as long as I live.

The host, her chin on the table and her head in her hands, stares forlornly into the camera and says, with embarassment dripping from every pore:

'Now I know what it feels like to be a man.'

'This is absolutely mortifying. To every man I've ever turned down; I am so sorry. I would date you all again. This feels so horrible.'

At least one of them understands.