Thursday, August 23, 2007

Sermonus Interruptus.

Damnit.

I was going to have such a marvelous post about Jesus Camp and the necessities of training our children, this new generation of Christian Soldiers in God's Army to 'Lay down their lives for the Lord', because 'Thinking for themselves' is dangerous and unchristian, and is to be avoided at all costs.

I was going to talk about how we need to let Jesus into our hearts and into our lives, and how we need to make sure that our enemies don't let their shallow liberal affectations stop our mission of mercy from God. I was going to point out that science in the last four hundred years has proven nothing new and that commercialism and sin was the ultimate goal of the scientist who for centuries have sought to draw us away from His teachings.

I was going to talk about the godless murderous abortionist, and plea to everyone's hearts that Thou Shalt Not Kill, while willfully ignoring that Thou Shalt Not Use My Name In Vain, and Judge Not Others.

I was going to mention the affront to our Lord that some dare use His image in order to spread the good word in a way other than is shown to be the True way to do His Work, and that only The Way is right, and all others are falsehoods, idols to lead us astray from the path.

I was going to damn Harry Potter, devil's work, trying to subvert our holy Christian values, to try to turn our children from the Lord, to use warlocks and magic to damn our children, in what is possibly the best example of liberal brain washing I have ever seen.

I was going to preach the Good Word into your life, and your family's life, and your children's life, for only the Word of God is right, and the only truth is Jesus' Love, His love for us knows no ending, his tenderness and desire for all humanity to bask in his Love comes before all, and you shall open our hearts to him or burn in hell fire for all eternity, for daring to refuse His love.

I was going to do all this, but my classmate called, saying that she'd accidentally lost the file containing the work I'd written this afternoon and I had to rewrite it all before the printer closed.

I guess there's always a tomorrow for God.


4 comments:

savante said...

Damn, you ae sarcastic. I like.

-C said...

Why do you not let Jesus into your life?

I will pray for your soul. May God have mercy.

NoahJ said...

lol omfg my symbol is bigger and better than ur symbol leik all get out

Ganymede said...

I will pray for your soul.

Muahahahahah. :P